Long-distance relationships are tough.  I’M NOT A FAN, BUT THAT’S ME.

Seriously though…When was the last time you met someone in a long-distance relationship who said: “Oh yeah, my boyfriend lives halfway across the country and it’s… F…I…N…E. FINE!!!!”

Unless you’re the avoidant type…
(Been there. My marriage was long-distance. Full disclosure—I liked it for a while. I’m not still married to him though. So there’s that.)

The REAL Challenges of Long-Distance Love

 The Fantasy Fog is REAL.
Distance has this weird way of warping your view.
You’re not seeing the whole picture, so you start filling in the blanks… with fantasies, fears, or both.

 Assumptions Get LOUD.
You start getting a little neurotic.
Every little thing feels like the end of the relationship.
They didn’t text you back? Must be cheating.
They went out with friends? Really? 

Idealization is a Trap.“If it weren’t for these damn logistical circumstances, we’d be PERFECT.”

Would you buy a car after only seeing the front end?  Didn’t think so.

In a long-distance relationship, you’re often not really dating—
You’re vibing with a version of someone that exists in texts, phone calls, and FaceTimes.

You miss important stuff like:

• How they handle stress
• If they’re chronically late
• Their excuse for that overbearing mother
• How they deal with criticism
• Or if they sulk for days over spilled almond milk

And that day-to-day messy reality? It’s where true intimacy is built.

So Can It Work?

Sure it can. But so can most relationships.

Here’s what makes a long-distance relationship stand a chance:

 Clear Milestones.
You need shared goals and a vision.
(If a relationship isn’t growing, it’s dying.)

An End Date to the Distance.
The gap between you should be temporary—not just “someday.”

Consistent Communication.
Not just texting emojis. Real check-ins. Honest convos.

 Reality Checks.
Make sure you’re falling in love with the person, not the fantasy.

And Watch Out For the Paradox…

Distance can lead you to make a HUGE commitment to someone you barely know.

Final Word:

Can it work? Yes.
Is it for everyone? Absolutely not.
Does love conquer all? Only if “all” doesn’t include a 3-hour time difference, bad Wi-Fi, and no plan.

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, just be real with yourself.
Because while love can handle a little distance—
It can’t survive on fantasy alone.

Otherwise, date your mailman.
At least he shows up every day. 😘

Francesca Luca is a lifestyle coach based on the South Shore. You can listen to Love Bites every Wednesday morning at 9:10 on The South Shore’s Morning News. 

You can also listen to The Francesca Luca Show every Wednesday evening between 8 and 9. 

Get in touch with Francesca: 

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